If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
