if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
