guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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