I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
