it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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