i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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