this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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