hotel room ftw
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
