The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
