fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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