thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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