The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
