So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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