Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize