dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
