what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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