one might say we're banned from that church
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
