how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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