I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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