i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
