Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
