I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
