Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
