I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
