yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
