I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Houston, we have a blender
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
