Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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