I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
