dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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