I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
