I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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