Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
