Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
