Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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