I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
