shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this just has baby written all over it
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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