She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
