She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
