R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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