I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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