I feel like abortions should bother me more
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
