2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
