The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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