so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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