i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
