Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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