I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
