on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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