Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i will never coherently bang her
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
