Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
