Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
