Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All the doctor said was why
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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