You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
