their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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