We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
