Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
