He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
